


The Best We Can

by Zayhra



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 22:30:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17476142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zayhra/pseuds/Zayhra
Summary: Lily finds out she's pregnant.





	The Best We Can

“Does this milk smell off to you?”

Lily looked up from the bathroom sink, her toothbrush in her mouth. James stuck the milk cartoon under her nose, and she took a hesitant sniff. She shook her head, and he smiled. “Thanks, love.”

Lily rolled her eyes as James made his way back to the kitchen, and she turned back to her reflection. As she rubbed her right eye tiredly, she ignored the slightly sick feeling that had settled in her stomach a week ago, when she realised she was about six weeks late. How did she not realise she had gone almost two months without bleeding? She unashamedly blamed James for being the most distracting husband in existence, and to pretend that she wasn’t bloody terrified would have been a huge fib, maybe the biggest she’d ever tell. Still, she spat out the toothpaste that had started to sting, rinsed her mouth, and put on a thick, knobbly jumper before heading out of the loo.

James was sat at the kitchen table with a bowl of porridge and the most disgusted look on his face. “Why does anyone eat this stuff? It has a consistency between sick and phlegm.”

Lily smiled, ignoring the roll her stomach took at the mention of sick. “I didn’t force you to eat it.”

James ignored her. “It’s like it’s been pre-chewed. Bloody baby food.”

If James noticed that Lily froze at the mention of the b-word, he didn’t react. Instead, he looked up from his plate and smiled. “You look cosy, come here.”

Lily shuffled towards her husband and sat on his lap, pushing the bowl of porridge lest it topple over them. James wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her hair. “I’m guessing you’re not doing Order duty today.”

“Moody gave me the day off for some reason, so I figured I’d run some errands. What about you?”

“Surveillance. Fucking boring shite, more like. Wormy will be there, though.”

Lily kissed his forehead as she stood up. “Well, be careful. And let me know if you’ll be home late.”

“’Course,” James yawned. “And can you pick up something better for tomorrow’s breakfast? I think I’ll vom next time I eat porridge.”

Lily smiled, and took his barely touched porridge to the sink. She felt horrible about lying to James, but she didn’t know how to tell him that she had asked Moody for the day off, feigning womanly troubles that he was too nauseous to question her on. Though, she supposed she didn’t really lie to Moody, it was just not something that she would have willingly discussed with him. Or anyone.

Lily hadn’t started vomiting yet. She wasn’t sure if this was a good sign or not, but she stood at the entrance of Boots pharmacy anyway, bracing herself. An old man shuffled past her, glaring at her still figure as she breathed in and out steadily. Lily took a final deep breath, and went in. She grabbed a basket and tried to be as inconspicuous as possible as she weaved through the aisles. When a sales assistant eyed her suspiciously, Lily stopped in front of the shampoos, grabbed a bottle and started to read the label. It was coconut and almond scented, and Lily cocked her head curiously, took off the cap and sniffed. She reeled back. Well, that will make her vomit if nothing else does. Do people actually want their hair to smell like that?

She put the bottle back hastily and stopped at the display of deodorants. Grabbing a men’s one for James, she placed it in her basket then paused at the women’s scents. One claimed to smell like red peppercorns and freesia. She didn’t even know peppercorns had a distinct smell, and wondered why anyone would even want their underarms to smell like peppercorns.

“Can I help you?”

Lily jumped and whipped around, almost colliding with the young man behind her.

“Oh, no. Just looking.” Lily smiled at him, still gripping the peppercorn-scented container.

He hesitated. “It’s just that you keep dawdling.”

Lily raised an eyebrow. “Are you a dawdle-free shop or something?”

The man blushed. “No, but we’re told to follow people who exhibit suspicious behaviour, in case they shop-lift.“

Lily’s eyes widened, and it was her turn to blush. “But- I’m- what?”

“I’m sorry.” The man said hurriedly. “But if you could just get what you need and leave…”

“Right, of course.” Lily flushed, placing the peppercorn deodorant in her basket and hurrying towards the pregnancy kits. She paused for only a second before picking four different pregnancy tests and placing them in her basket. She made her way to the register, and flushed when the young man served her behind the counter. They both kept their heads down as he scanned the four pregnancy kits, and when he looked up and asked if she would like any of their discounted chocolate bars, Lily grabbed three giant dairy milks without meeting his eye.

–

As Lily sat, trying to wee in a plastic cup, she wondered if there was a potion or spell to do this. She supposed she could have asked James, or one of her school friends, but that would have meant she’d had to acknowledge that she might indeed be with child. At the age of 19. Lily sighed, realising that she couldn’t even console herself with the fact that she at least beat teenage pregnancy. How the bloody hell could she be pregnant if she still gets asked for identification whenever she tries to buy a bottle of wine from the corner shop.

Lily stood up, placed all four pregnancy sticks in the plastic cup, washed her hands then headed to the kitchen, where she unwrapped one of the giant chocolate bars and took a generous bite. It was when she was watching the clock half-heartedly, halfway through the chocolate bar that she was startled for the second time that day.

Crack.

Lily whirled around and blanched when she saw James open the kitchen door and stumble in.

“Alright?” James asked, taking off his jacket and grinning at her. “Got sent home early. Moody must be slacking.”

Lily’s stomach rolled again, and she put down the chocolate bar. “I haven’t made anything for dinner.”

James leaned down to kiss her. “And you haven’t learned to share.” He nodded at the chocolate wrapper.

“I suppose I must be punished.” Lily tried to keep her tone light, and it seemed to work as James only grinned wider.

“Will that involve any other muggle contraptions you want to introduce me to? Those handcuff things last time were very interesting.”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.” Lily softened as James yawned loudly.

“You’re gorgeous,” he said, making his way to the bathroom. “And I’m dusty. We’ll have to postpone my ravaging of your body until I take a shower.”

“I might not have time for you then.” Lily said, stretching.

“You’re a cruel, wicked thing.” James shut the bathroom door and a few moments later, Lily heard the sound of the shower turning on. She made her way to the kitchen cupboard and stared at the two tins of tomatoes and three potatoes. Another cupboard revealed a mouldy, half-eaten crumpet that she was sure Sirius was eating about three weeks ago, and a box of custard powder. Lily sighed and sat down again, wondering how she could ever care for a child when she couldn’t even feed herself. Lily’s eyes suddenly widened and she gasped, realising what she had left on the toilet seat. She whipped her head around as the bathroom door opened.

James strolled out wearing a towel around his waist, and looked at Lily. “Is there a reason there’s a cup of wee on the toilet?”

Lily swallowed and made her way past James to the bathroom. She picked up one of the pregnancy tests and stared at it. Positive. As it clattered to the floor, she picked up the second one. Also positive. A quick glance at the other two revealed the same results. The room around Lily started to cave in, and her throat felt like it was closing up. She sank to the floor, clutching her stomach.

Lily felt James kneel down next to her, his hand stroking her back. “Lily?” He said tentatively, his voice laced with confusion and concern.

Before she knew what she was doing, Lily let out a choked sob and turned her head towards his chest. His arms wrapped instinctively around her and he held her as she cried for both of them, and the life they were bringing into their imperfect world.

–

“Are you sure?” James asked, placing a mug of tea in front of his wife.

Lily nodded, her shoulders slumped. James’ heart ached for her, and all he wanted to do at that moment was make her feel better, but he wasn’t sure how. Instead, he tried to be logical. “Well, I heard that there is this charm that could tell us definitively. I’ll have to ask mum tomorrow. If you are- I mean, if we are… in this situation, we will just have to talk about our options, and-“

“James.” Lily cut him off, and James blinked. “There are no ifs. I can feel it. I know. The muggle way is fairly accurate.”

James let out a long, hard breath. The silence around them grew heavy. James stared at Lily, who at that moment looked so much older than her nineteen years.

“What are we going to do?” Lily whispered, clutching her mug tightly. James reached out and clutched her hands around the mug. When she finally looked up at him, James smiled.

“We will do our best.” James gazed at Lily’s panicked eyes, and smiled. “We might royally fuck up, but we will do our best. I have no doubt that you will be the best mum that kid will have. We will raise her the best we can.”

Lily let out a watery laugh. “Her?”

“Or him.” James said hurriedly. “Whatever you want.”

“I don’t think it’s up to me.” Lily sighed, unconsciously stroking her stomach. “We don’t even… I mean- we might not even live to see-“

“Don’t.” James interrupted, his eyes narrowed.

Lily rolled her own eyes at him. “We’re at war, James. We have to talk about this. People die at war.”

“Yes, and I might very well go, but you’re not. Do you hear me? You’re not allowed to die.”

Lily blinked back her tears and gave him a half-hearted smile. “You’re not allowed to die either.”

“Well, if I do, I give you permission to bring me back to life just so you can personally kill me.”

Lily laughed despite herself. “It’s a deal.” 

James smiled back. “Well, I’m glad that’s sorted out. Now, I don’t know if it’s a bit early to do this, but may I suggest the name Elvendork. It’s unisex.”


End file.
